Understanding anger

Photo: Ally Matson

Anger is a like a fire in a peatland, a ‘zombie’ fire that appears to have died but then flares up again at a later date.   Anger can be a slow-burning fuse or an explosive spark. It can vary from irritation and grumpiness all the way up to full-blown rage and ferocity.  Often it takes us by surprise¸ we did not even know we were holding anger inside us, until it leaps out.

Finding the real, deep-down reason for such an uncontrollable emotion is the first step on the path  to healing it.  We may think we’re angry at the car in front, the teen who stayed out late, the selfish boss and so on, but those just provided the oxygen which lit the waiting spark.  Psychologist Leon F Seltzer states, “these explosive emotions aren’t primary but secondary – unconsciously employed to mitigate an intolerable sense of vulnerability. [...] Beneath this fiery defensive emotion exist feelings of hurt, not being respected or valued, embarrassment, shame, loneliness, unlovability, and so on.”

In the Bach Flower Remedy system, there are quite a few essences which can help, depending on the root cause of our pain.  When our fear of losing control masks vulnerability then Cherry Plum will help.  If it is loneliness, our irritability could be soothed with Impatiens.  If we are feeling unvalued and hurt, Chicory might be the answer, while envy and spite would be helped with Holly. 

“I sat with anger long enough, until she told me her real name was grief,” wrote CS Lewis.  Anger can often be used to mask a profound grief, one buried so deep it may even stem from childhood.  In fact, the word anger comes from the Old Norse ‘angr’ which means grief, along with ‘angra’, vex.  Grief, anger, vexation – Bach Flower Remedies can help to start healing them all.