Cartoon by Jonny Hawkins, with his permission
When we are criticising others we look at them, reports Tara Brach, through ‘a narrow
aperture’: we don’t allow ourselves to see the wider picture with all their
good points. Or how they are doing their best despite trying circumstances or
other problems. All we see is what irks us. We may be able to resist saying something
mean or critical out loud, but the intolerant thought is still there and makes
itself felt across the space between us.
When we feel superior to others like that, the flower remedy
is of course Beech. We look down our
noses from our ivory tower of superiority, just as the Queen of Trees gazes
down on its neighbours. And the beech
allows no plants to grow too close, it deliberately distances itself from
others.
Those in the mood requiring Beech are sure they are right and
that others are wrong or inferior in some way.
When the need for Beech is particularly strong the afflictive emotion is
as close to hate as that of Holly. It’s ‘hate’ because we are ‘othering’ the
criticised person, rendering them as someone *other*, someone who is ‘Not one
of us.’ Whereas love is selfless,
connects and includes everyone, hate is selfish, disconnects and excludes. This
is unhealthy and unsustainable because we all need each other in order to survive
and thrive. Social media has a lot to
answer for …
Taking Beech helps us to see others in all the glory of their
humanity, regardless of their flaws and failings that we have too. And like us they need understanding,
tolerance and compassion to help them get through each difficult day.
