Lifting a burden

In these trying times when the world seems to be on fire, including the humans often on fire with each other, overheated in anger, fired up into aggression, inflamed with power and oppression, divisiveness, greed and so on, what can each of us do individually to help build calm, peace, harmony and goodwill? Many of us already understand that how we live our own lives – in peace or its opposite, chaos and enmity – affects the whole world.

One of the ways we can help peace to grow is by not being a burden on others. I mean the sort of emotional or psychological burden which piles unnecessary weight and suffering on those around us.  At times we can be quite unaware of our how our very presence adversely affects people, whether it’s among our friends, family or even in a crowded space such as public transport or a hospital.  For instance I was thinking of Penelope Wilton’s character in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. She is totally oblivious to how her negativity and constant complaining is a burden on everyone around her, until Bill Nighy’s character points it out.  We can become so entrenched in our opinions, our certainty that our interaction with others is the only way there is, that we become completely unaware of how people suffer because of it.

Social media is full of examples – some real life, some playing on the zeitgeist – of bossy, interfering mothers-in-law, supervisors and others. If our agreement is with the ‘power over’ viewpoint maybe we too would benefit from the Vine flower essence? If we’re constantly depressing others with our misery, Willow would help. If we are always criticising those around us – the youth of today, the other drivers on the road – Beech would remind us “… to see more good and beauty in all that surrounds [us, and] the good growing within.”*

Those in our circle who have to put up with our constant displays of bad temper, venting, tyranny, moaning etc are spending their lives tiptoeing round us, treading on eggshells, in fear of the reaction they may inadvertently provoke.  Are we aware of that?  Jimmy @jimmyonrelationships (Instagram) says toxic behaviour creates fear, anxiety and emotional punishment.

We see parents buried in their phones, in public, ignoring the fact that their children are either in danger or a menace to others. Clematis would help to ground them in the here and now.  The parent who walks ahead of the family group, ignoring them and their needs, might consider Impatiens for his irritation and impatience.

And then there’s the ‘yappers’, those who talk endlessly about whatever’s going on in their lives, draining all who are subjected to such a relentless barrage.  If we become aware that we do this, we could try the Heather remedy. 

We’ve all had – and will continue to have – bad days where it is only human to offload, to express anger, criticism, jealousy etc.  But chances are, we need to examine our habits when it comes to some of these inconsiderate behaviours because they (secretly) cause friends and family to dread our call, our visit, our get-together.

We’re all human, yes, and times are difficult, frightening, full of extremes and hardships. But if we can lighten the burden on those around us by becoming aware of how we affect them, adjusting our attitude towards a spirit of peace, goodwill, tolerance and compassion, we’ll have made an important start in healing ourselves and, consequently, the world.

By Lucy Fleming from the
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"Our emotions are forms of energy.

Your thoughts and intentions, your state of being affects everyone around you.

You can pull other people into [heart] coherence." 

Dr Mitchell Abrams in his TED talk on Youtube here.

 
For other afflictive emotions, see my booklet, A-Z of Emotional Resilience, here.

* Dr Bach, The Twelve Healers

Centaury and Chiron

I have just learned* that the centaury flower was named after Chiron, the Greek god known as the wounded healer. He was a centaur – half man, half horse – fathered by Cronus, and the only centaur (a brutish species) to help others, including humankind.  He was a healer and herbalist and his name lived on in chirurgeon, the old English word for surgeon. Chiron was said to have invented surgery.

Chiron comes from the Greek word for hand, and as we know, Centaury types in the Bach flower system are people always willing and happy to ‘lend a hand,’ to help others wherever they can. Even if they do so at the expense of their own health or needs because they never feel able to refuse. That’s when the Centaury flower remedy will help them to recover a better life balance, strengthening their will by learning when to say no to excessive, unreasonable or inconvenient demands on their time or energy.

Chiron was abandoned as a newborn and later was permanently infected by a poisoned arrow.  He used the centaury plant as an antidote to the poison but the pain never left him. So he was wounded in two life-changing ways. His mission in life – as is often the case with Centaury types – was to serve others.  In order to free Promethus from everlasting torment Chiron relinquished his immortality; as a result, Zeus fixed Chiron in the sky as the constellation Sagittarius – also known as Centaurius. 

For more on the flower essence, click on Centaury in the index on the right.

 

Photo: Ally Matson

References:

* Beatrice Groves on X/Twitter

Neel Burton, M.A., M.D. in Psychology Today

Chantal Bourgenje on flowerology.substack.com