Thursday, December 9, 2021

If you're putting on that 'happy' mask

This time of year can be one where we need Agrimony.  We are busy pretending that everything is going to be jolly and fun, rather than admitting that deep down life is anything but.  We’re putting a brave face on things for the sake of our children, and other loved ones, all the while wondering how we’re going to get through.  Think of the Emma Thompson character in the film, Love Actually, when she realises the necklace is not for her.

It can be necessary to put on a happy mask occasionally, and sometimes it can even help us to feel more positive.  But when we’re unable to acknowledge that the cheerful persona we’re adopting is at odds with how we’re feeling in reality, that disconnection can be destructive and unhealthy.  We can end up blocking our pain to the extent that we’re no longer true to ourselves.   This is when Agrimony is needed, when others are not allowed to see beyond our smiles.  We keep our suffering (and other people) at arm’s length by laughing, lively chat and social activity.  We are unable to connect with others because there is all this body-armour keeping our hearts apart.

Agrimony helps us to face our distress courageously and give it love and understanding.  This self-compassion will help us to re-connect with others, giving them our authentic selves, a love we all need badly at this time.


“The more you understand the more you love; the more you love, the more you understand.” Thich Nhat Hanh


From the film, Love Actually


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