Rigidity

It’s a sad symptom of this polluted world that so many people – on social media or on the streets – have a toxic and intransigent opinion that is often expressed with violence or threats.  This unyielding mindset tells us that emotionally they are out of balance.

People who are convinced they are right are often rigid about it and Dr Bach mentions this in The Twelve Healers.

His opening sentence on Vervain reads, ’Those with fixed principles and ideas which they are confident are right, and which they very rarely change.’  He says something similar of other remedies, for instance under Chicory, ‘… always finding something that should be put right. They are continually correcting….’  And of Vine he writes, ‘as they are certain is right.   Even in illness they will direct their attendants.’ 

This rigid mentality is there in Rock Water too, ‘Those who are very strict in their way of living’.  Strict comes from the Latin, ‘[drawn] tight’ which again implies inflexibility, the narrowness of the single-track mind.  These remedies are all in the same Group (Over-care for the Welfare for Others) so it’s not surprising that Beech has this same uncompromising outlook (my judgement is the only correct one) and strictness about how other people should behave.  We take Beech  ‘although much appears to be wrong . . . . so as to be able to be more tolerant, lenient…’ ie the very antithesis of rigidity and strict rules.

It turns out that the words ‘rigid’ and ‘right’ are connected.  Where we believe the right way is the correct way, the word ‘correct’ comes from the same root as ‘rigid’. ‘Correct’ comes from the Latin ‘made straight’ while the word ‘right’ comes from the Latin ‘ruled, denoting movement in a straight line’.   Which is to say, a line that doesn’t deviate, any more than rigidity would deviate or become flexible. 

When we find that we are being too strict on ourselves or on others, unwilling to compromise on their point of view or even tolerate their way of doing things, then the flower remedies can restore our sense of proportion, our kinship with others, and our kindness.

 

Image: vladimir163rus on Pixabay

Boundaries

Boundaries are barriers that stop us from being inundated – physically, emotionally, or mentally.  If we don’t raise an umbrella against the rain, we can expect to get wet.   If we don’t put on coats and hats when it’s freezing, we can expect the cold to enter our bones. But when it comes to raising a sensible defence against the incoming tide of other people’s demands or expectations, we find ourselves unable to act.

Our life history may have led us to be people-pleasers and unable to say no.  But growth comes when we understand that the only way forward is through changes we make in our perspective.   Boundaries, Brene Brown tells us, are the key to self-love.  When we allow people to cross our flimsy and unreinforced boundaries, we lose our self-respect and make our work doubly hard next time someone persuades us to do something we want to decline.  It’s a sign that we’ve lost our self-respect when we become begrudging of our time and efforts and resentful.  When we’re genuinely willing to help another, we give freely of our time, care and intention.  ‘Generosity cannot exist without boundaries.’ ~ Brene Brown.

Our determination to be stronger and say no when necessary can be enhanced with the flower remedy Centaury.  This is particularly helpful for those who love to be of service but can’t refuse even when it’s against their better judgment. Depending on the need and situation, other remedies which might help include Oak, Elm, Olive, Willow. 

Part of our learning in this life is to recognise when challenges to our psyche arise: they’re an opportunity to face our weaknesses, identify our ‘fault lines’, develop self-discipline, and overcome an obstacle to growth so that we are stronger and wiser on the next occasion.