Kindness versus 'othering'

Brene Brown says that when we call people by non-human names (eg animals, aliens) we place them outside of our moral inclusion zone, and effectively dehumanize them.  They are no longer ‘one of us’.  This ‘othering’ is dominating a lot of the internet at present and infecting us with its divisiveness, which sadly can and often does transfer into our daily contacts with other people.

We may need to review the attitudes we are bringing to this issue.  We cannot change other people but we can become doubly aware of how we react or would like to respond.  If you are feeling the urge to tell someone they are wrong, should shut up and listen to someone who knows, then take Vine to ease that tyrannical streak. If you see the other person as inferior to you, as someone who should think or behave a lot better than than they are doing, take Beech for a more tolerant and understanding outlook.  And if the urge is there to post something spiteful or hateful, then take Holly.

And if you are on the receiving end of some this widespread antipathy, and have given up believing you can do anything about a particular situation, select Wild Rose in order to take back your agency. If something seems like an attack on the most vulnerable part of yourself, causing you to feel as though you’re about to lose your rag and say or do something you would later regret, take Cherry Plum. If you feel you must fight every battle in order to win people over to your way of thinking, or to convince them to join you in your ‘crusade’, take Vervain.

And lastly, be kind to yourself.  If someone says or posts something designed to make you feel guilty, take Pine.  If their posts undermine your self-confidence, take Larch.  If their words trigger in you a feeling of self-dislike, or uncleanliness, take Crab Apple.

"A fellow feeling makes us wondrous kind." Alexander Pope

There is more info on these flower remedies in my new book, Space to Reflect, click here.

Pascal Campion

 

When you are more Rock than Water

Photo: Ally Matson

Rock Water in its name, as well as in its nature, encapsulates both the positive and negative aspects of the remedy.  In a negative state the person is all Rock – unmoving, inflexible, enslaved to their principles and policies, unable to see that their very fixedness is limiting; it limits their vision, their aims, and their mental and spiritual growth.  In a positive state, the person has more of Water’s fluidity, and is able to experience more joy in life, just as a stream chuckles on its way to the sea.

“But why,” asks a Rock Water type, “Would I want to go with the flow?  My diet, my beliefs, my work standards are right for me and I see no point in changing them for the sake of change. People could do a lot worse than follow the good example I always try to set.”  Taking Rock Water does not stop us from having high standards but it allows us to take a fresh look at ideals and routines which we’ve always held sacrosanct, and to realise when change and modification would allow us more flexibility and pleasure in life.

We can see an allegory of the release to be found by taking Rock Water in the Labours of Hercules.   In Alice A Bailey’s version, a drought caused Amymone to ask Neptune for help.  He instructed her to strike a rock, from which three crystal streams appeared, but soon a monstrous hydra arrived, turning the place into a swamp.  Hercules’ task was to get rid of the hydra.  In a negative Rock Water state Hercules would have lost the fight because the rule book was no help: every time he cut off one of its 9 heads, another 2 grew in its place.  But Hercules had been given a key piece of advice by his Teacher:  ‘We rise by kneeling; we conquer by surrendering; we gain by giving up’.   Recalling this, Hercules kneels in the swamp and by raising the hydra into the clear light of day, its strength fails and it dies.    

When we are in the negative state where we need Rock Water, we are unable to give up our precious rules, our strict self-denial and martyr-like mentality.  We are unable to kneel figuratively to wiser counsels, more flexible ideas or lifestyles.  We’re loth to surrender our favourite strategies and habits: we believe they serve us well when in fact they now repress us, preventing us from growing.  Like Hercules we hold on to our pride in what we’ve achieved so far, and believe our self-imposed rules and disciplined lifestyle will overcome all obstacles, not realising that surrendering comes with its own power.

When Hercules had won the battle the crystal streams were free to flow for everyone’s benefit.  Ultimately this is the gift offered by all the flower remedies, they release us from our fixed ways of the past so that we can become a healing stream for others.

This piece comes from my book, Turning to the Light, click here for more information. For my newest book, Space to Reflect, click here.