Remedies for Anxiety and Fear

Remedies for Anxiety and Fear

Whichever country you live in, there are grounds for fear, anxiety and trepidation.  Coronavirus may be the foremost worry for many at present, with its implications for families, jobs, sick pay and so on, but in every country there are fearsome problems and national catastrophes to deal with: political, economic, environmental, humanitarian etc.

A 2018 survey found that three-quarters of people in the UK have experienced anxiety over the last year such that they felt overwhelmed, with 1 in 3 feeling suicidal and 1 in 6 had self-harmed.  As many as 84% in the 16-24 year old category were so worried that they felt unable to cope with life.  In 2016 another report discovered that 77% of Americans believed the world had become a more frightening place in the last 10 years.*  I expect there are similar statistics recorded in many other countries.

In this maelstrom of impending doom I am reminded of the true story told by Carl Jung, of a Taoist monk called in to cure a local drought.  After 3 days of his self-isolated, meditative presence, the rain fell at last.  His explanation was that he had felt a lack of balance on his arrival, but once he was back in balance, equilibrium – and therefore rain – was restored all round. **

I’m not for one minute suggesting that monks, meditation or the Bach flower remedies can cure the parlous state of the world at present.  But it is worth remembering that when we take the remedies we need – maybe Mimulus, Red Chestnut or Rock Rose currently – we bring ourselves back into balance and that effect ripples outwards.

When we are frightened, either for ourselves or our loved ones, only negative energy is generated.  When we are in balance, those around us feel the benefit, they feel more secure, and are more likely to consider taking the remedies themselves.

By ourselves, not one of us can change the state of the world, however much we might wish to, but  we can change ourselves, our thoughts and outlook.  It is in the nature of energy and consciousness that all these little bits add up and become unstoppable.  Therefore if we can remain calm and balanced with the help of the flower remedies, we’ll not only help those around us, but the good vibrations will gradually spread out into the world and manifest eventually as change for the better.

 

* Quoted by Rob Hopkins in his book, From What Is to What If.

** https://www.huffpost.com/entry/a-taoist-parable_b_10007270

  

Bravery and facing your fear

When Arty Amarisa, BFRP, asked me to join her in a podcast, the theme was about bravery and Birth Yourself Brave.   

In it we discuss, among other things, the need to sit with our suffering, and synchronously only this weekend I read the following in When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön:

“No-one ever tells us to stop running away from fear.  We are very rarely told to move closer, to just be there, to become familiar with fear.  […] So the next time you encounter fear, consider yourself lucky. This is where the courage comes in.  Usually we think that brave people have no fear.  The truth is that they are intimate with fear.”

And Pema goes on to tell the story of a young warrior who was challenged to a fight with Fear. “Then the young warrior said, ‘How may I defeat you?’  Fear replied, ‘My weapons are that I talk fast and get very close to your face.  Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you I have no power.  You can listen to me and you can have respect for me.  You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power.’”

Here is the link to the podcast where we discuss the courage needed to face our demons and a few of the Bach flower remedies such as Mimulus, which can help.

And this is my poem which is read out at the end:

Bravery is not the overcoming of fear  

but the manifestation of love.

What is love but understanding?

What is understanding but 

a foundation stone for the world.

As building and foundation are one,

we are one with the world.

One whole.

Expressing love through bravery

is a way of upholding the universe.

~ Lesley Cooke

 

 

Blown off your course?

 

Which do you find controls your life, tides or winds?

Tides are eternal, marking the duality of existence: ebb and flood.  Breathing in and out.  Endings and beginnings. 

When tides affect our life there is a destiny to them and we learn not to resist, but to float, carried on their surface to the next safe strand.

Winds can blow us off course if we let them.  If we ride the tide correctly the wind will affect us but little.  We just let the storm blow over our heads.

When the tide is determined to advance or retreat, no amount of wind will make it change direction.

 

(Photos: Ally Matson)

The Bach Flower Remedies help us to keep our heads above water.  Taking the appropriate remedies restores our buoyancy, our ability to cope with whatever comes our way.  Waves are there to test our strength, our resilience and stability.  They are mentors not opponents: from them we learn how well we are doing, and how much we have yet to learn.

Dwelling in the past

 

My aunt is 94 and the only one left in our family who remembers World War 2.  The whole of her teenage years from 13-19 were spent living with the fear of invasion and bombing raids, with severe alterations to their way of life in terms of rationing, queuing and so on.  But she reminisces fondly about all the dances she went to, accompanied by soldiers and airmen stationed there, although each time there would be a few familiar faces missing as they had not returned from a mission.   She made me smile recently when she talked happily about long enjoyable hikes in later years, spending a week say, walking the challenging North Cornwall coast.  “Of course, I couldn’t do it now, but we were much younger then.”

“How old were you?”

“Oh, only in our 70s.”

Advancing age gives us a different perspective on life and she has been singularly unafraid of catching Covid-19.  That may be partly owing to her failing health but she says stoutly that having lived through the war and the ever-present threat of bombs, she’s not scared of a virus!

Reflecting how much she now lives in the past, and with nothing to look forward to, makes me wish she could be persuaded to take Honeysuckle.  It also made me wonder whether some of us, living through the pandemic, may also need Honeysuckle without realising it?  Many of us are recalling summers when we could go anywhere we liked for a holiday, could shop on a whim without queuing, and could meet whomever we liked, hug and kiss, and walk into any pub for a meal without booking.  If you’re finding it hard to adapt to current rules and ways of life then consider Walnut.  But if you find yourself spending time thinking about the past – distant or more recent – and how much better and easier things were, then take some Honeysuckle.

For some of us this year will have produced some very distressing and unhappy memories and Honeysuckle can help us move on from those too.  Without its help we can find ourselves chained to the past where our energy stays focused in what has happened, rather than drives the present where our real lives are.

 

(Library photo)

 

Self-love, self-hate

Dr Bach had quite a bit to say about self-love, for example, “Self-love is a denial of Unity and the duty we owe to [others] by putting the interests of ourselves before the good of humanity and the care and protection of those immediately around us.”  But there is another definition of self-love which may not have been in use when Dr Bach was writing in the 1930s.  Whereas he was talking about self-interest, selfishness, egotism and narcissism, nowadays we more often think of self-love as the need or ability to feel self-esteem and worthy of love.

In a poem about loving ourselves fully and unconditionally, Caroline Bird writes provocatively, “You may now kiss the mirror” (‘Megan Married Herself’).  Too often we feel unhappy about ourselves – how we look in the mirror, our actions, the part we play in our relationships – and we end up despising or disliking ourselves, often for no good reason.  It can lead to depression and despair and when we look at the energy of this negative feeling we check the remedies in the Group Despair and Despondency – and sure enough, that’s where we find Crab Apple.

Crab Apple is for those who feel unclean or unacceptable in some way.  It may be a disgust on a mental level rather than a physical level.  But it often manifests as a pre-occupation with keeping things clean, excessive showering etc.  It can be typical of those in the despondent state needing Crab Apple that they focus on little things – eg their windows need frequent washing – as a way of over-compensating for not liking themselves or feeling ‘I have no value’. 

When self-love goes bad, we find – as with any of the negative emotions – that we’re focused on ourselves rather than on others.  If we are not able to love ourselves properly, it will prove hard to consider and love others as they deserve.  Crab Apple helps us to see things in perspective and redress that balance.