Space to Reflect - new book

Looking for a new book on self-healing, emotional resilience, nervous system regulation or the flower remedies?

I am delighted to launch my latest book, Space to Reflect.

In these times of turmoil we are all liable to suffer from anger, fear, depression and other negative emotions, which destroy our peace and leave us feeling less able to cope than before. The Bach Flower Remedies offer a solution. They work to rebalance our emotions so that we can return to peace and well-being, with a renewed sense of purpose and compassion.

Throughout history, writers and thinkers have always comforted and inspired us with their thoughts about our worst fears and emotions. Some of their ideas are explored in this text, in order to illustrate how the skilful use of Flower Remedies will resolve negative emotions.

All 38 flower remedies are presented here alphabetically. Since everyone learns in different ways, this commentary includes stories and photos, humour and cartoons, poems and rhymes, to help you remember which remedy to choose when you are trying to resolve challenging emotions.

You can purchase this book direct from me: see my email under my Profile. It is 104 pages with colour photos.   It is priced at £9.95 including postage to UK addresses - other countries, please enquire. Or you can purchase from The Bach Centre at https://bachcentre.com/shop/product-category/books/

A pdf is now available, I'm pleased to say, click here.

For a booklet on the emotions (and which remedies to choose) click here

Liking what we see

A ballet teacher was telling us that with dancing exams coming up, the mirrors have to be removed from the practice sessions.  The students were horrified as they have grown used to watching their reflection for pose, angles, alignments etc, as well as imitating their fellow dancers at need. 

This viewing habit can be how we go through life.  Unless we are totally at peace and centred, our observing tends to be outwards rather than inwards, focusing on how we appear in the world, projecting our best image, what we should be correcting, adjusting, easing in the way we relate to others.  When our emotional balance is adrift, we find ourselves particularly in the ‘outward’ gazing mode – eg being critical of others if we need a dose of Beech – rather than ‘coming home to ourselves’, as Thich Nhat Hanh called it, and concentrating inwardly on our authentic life.  When we concentrate inwardly we become much more aware of imbalance in our hearts, minds and physical body.  Then we can tune in to what flower remedy is needed in order to restore harmony and well-being.

This screenshot – of Darcy Bussell and Dawn French from the old BBC Comedy, Vicar of Dibley* – reminds us of how we sometimes look in the mirror and dislike what we see. For instance, we’re not as slim, fit, or attractive as we would like to be. Then Crab Apple would be a good remedy to take.  Part of the emotional harm caused by addiction to social media is that people – youngsters in particular – see a Darcy Bussell-type beauty scoring all the likes, while they themselves look in the mirror and agonise over what they perceive to be wrong with them. 

Crab Apple will help to restore a sense of perspective.  And, depending on how we feel, other remedies might be appropriate. Willow for self-pity and resentment.  Larch if we lack confidence.  Mimulus if we are nervous about appearing in public.

* Full sketch on Youtube https://youtu.be/tRN17AJ0RY8?si=7mPF3SDp7aWLZTMS blic.

Hearts of gold

On my Facebook page - @AtHomeBachRemedies - I occasionally ask readers to guess which remedy I am describing.  Here is a recent one.

Heinz Geilfus (1890-1956) from
Vintage Posters & Visual Curiosities

I loved this drawing when I saw it on Beautiful Illustrations.  It reminded me of an old friend who, typical of this remedy type, had a heart of gold but kept himself to himself. He was the first person you would turn to in times of need but would never ask for any help for himself.  Like this heart mender he worked alone, quietly healing hearts, doing his ‘little bit of good in the world’* without calling attention to his kind deeds.

 

This is a remedy type we witness more often in the positive than the negative.  I say ‘witness’, as although we know what a blessing they can be in our lives we may take them for granted, assuming they have no problems of their own as they don’t discuss their concerns and would spurn interference.  Their quiet independence can mean we fail to notice their need for solace, support or connection, and then they feel lonely. This makes them feel even more withdrawn so that people label them as stand-offish and cold.

 

Here’s a final clue to identifying this remedy. Dr Bach wrote, “… more like an angel than a man, passes amongst the company like a breath of warm wind or a ray of glorious sunshine, blessing everyone.”

 

* “Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” Desmond Tutu

Illustration by Heinz Geilfus (1890-1956) posted on Beautiful Illustrations page.

 

Mimulus: tuning out the fear rhetoric

Remember the John Lennon song which hopes it will be a good new year and without fear? If that hope seems vain at present, we need to remember that fear is divisive – it makes us mistrust, exclude or despise people around us. ‘Divide and conquer’ is never more effective than when we divide people in their opinions, beliefs or convictions. 

The remedy to overcome anxiety is Mimulus*.  It encourages us to see events and the possibility of events in their true perspective.  We will never eradicate fear entirely, nor should we want to, as it serves a basic need of self-preservation.  But when our fears are being played upon – often deliberately – by those whose job or malign intent is to sell media attention and addiction, we need to become self-aware as never before, and take whatever precautions we can in order to see scare-mongering in its true light.

Bach Flower Remedies help stabilise our reactions or negative emotions and restore tranquillity. They foster our natural ability to raise an energetic shield or shell around our psyche so that we can keep our vibrations high, thereby helping to offset the negativity in the world.  The Lennon new year song also talks about war being over if we desire it. That sadly is unlikely to be true, internationally, for the foreseeable future but we can take it to heart individually: if we want to stop our internal war of fear, anxiety or a dozen other negative responses, then we can start by trying a course of flower remedies.

Thinking of Hamlet’s ‘sea of troubles’, I wrote about choosing to float above it all, like a glass bottle, uncontaminated by so much designed merely to deceive, antagonise or frighten us:

On seas of trouble 
my glass bottle floats serene,
its message clear to read:
remain unswamped, hope intact.
Untouched by alarm, we thrive.

 

Image from Canva

 * Remedies for other types of fear are Rock Rose, Red Chestnut, Cherry Plum and Aspen, depending on what type of anxiety is felt. More on my blog – link in bio.

Image: Canva

Red Chestnut protects those we love

Dr Bach tells us in The Twelve Healers that Red Chestnut is for those who have ceased to be concerned about themselves but excessively worry about those they love. Here’s a test to check your understanding of this Fear remedy: does it tally with the fictitious scenario below – or not?

               ‘Hallo love how are you?’

               ‘Mum? It’s 5 am in New York, why are you ringing?’

               ‘Well I wanted to see how you were doing and if you are alright.’

               ‘Mum, I’m 35, I told you I would be in America with my colleagues for a week and wouldn’t be in touch. I live 100 miles away from you, it’s not as though you see me very often anyway.’

               ‘But I worry about you, whether you’re eating enough …. I was wondering: when you get back into Heathrow, are you going to drive over here as it seems ages since we met up?’

               ‘Mum!!! It will be the crack of dawn, I’ll have been awake all night after a long flight and too jetlagged to do anything other than go straight home and flake out.’

               ‘Oh that’s a shame ‘cos I do miss you.  Take care love. Ring me soon, bye …’

If this conversation strikes you as slightly off, slightly disconcerting, that’s because it’s not the selfless Red Chestnut energy of worry about her daughter.  It feels much more like the clingy,  vibration of Chicory trying to meet her needs. Which is a prompt to remind us that just because someone tells us that they are worried about their offspring does not mean we should automatically think of advising Red Chestnut.  We need to understand if there is real anxiety there; as Dr Bach said, “It is always fearing the worst and always anticipating misfortune for others,”[1] as illustrated in this extract:

“When your children are teenagers, you never sleep at night when they’re 
out until they’re home in their beds again.  Sleeping implies an inability
 to leap out of bed and rescue them from the emergency that will surely
 find them.”  Cathy Kelly in Other Women

If we are in the state where we need Red Chestnut, our sense of perspective is distorted to the extent that we worry out of all proportion to the situation.  If our fear only affected ourselves, it would be detrimental enough, but our moods, thoughts and vibrations mentally and physically affect those around us.  Our disproportionate fear for loved ones could cause them harm by sending negative vibrations in their direction. Emotional imbalance (of any kind) shows us a grossly distorted view of our world, our family and friends, colleagues and neighbours. Red Chestnut not only helps us to rebalance but will remove from our loved ones the burden of our unhealthy fear.

---

[1] Philip Chancellor, Handbook of the Bach Flower Remedies

Water Violet: Solitude or Loneliness?

Water Violet types can get a bad press for being stand-offish, cold, unwilling to mix socially etc, when in truth, if stressed, all they want is solitude and quiet.

Because they do not tolerate interference in their lives they will never interfere in other people’s, but they are among the first to offer help when there is a need for it.  They don’t bustle in like Vervain or muscle in like Vine but are kindly and generous with their time and effort to help. They have what Buddhist teacher Joan Halifax calls, ‘a strong back and a soft front’ – their soft heart keeps them compassionate, their strong back knows when and where to draw the line.

However these are their actions, not their emotions. It’s how people feel in a negative state, not how they behave, which should determine whether they need the remedy or not.  Those who find Water Violet people distant will mirror that energy back at them, causing a withdrawn Water Violet to find that no-one wants to make contact with them or take an interest in their well-being. Then they feel lonely.  In a negative state, Water Violet’s natural reserve crystallises so that there seems to be a glass wall between them and friends or family. 

Even those who aren’t a Water Violet type can have times when they experience the negative state and – becoming solidified in that energy – find it difficult to break down the wall of separation and reach out into the world again. This is where the flower remedy helps, dissolving the ice of isolation, warming their hearts, gladdening their minds and renewing that longing for connection with others that all of us need and possess in order to thrive.

Photo: Ally Matson

When we smile and put on a brave face

I was sad to read a post on Threads the other day where a woman described how she had visited a therapist after her hysterectomy.  In chatting to him, she ‘was, typically, telling jokes and making light of the hard stuff.’ He heard her out and then asked, What about the pain?  The woman posted that she ‘… shattered. Absolutely fell apart. Because I have never allowed myself to admit that pain is real.’ She hadn’t realised until then how she had been hiding that from herself.  A case right there for Agrimony.

Smiling and putting on a brave face we call it. The word face comes from an old Latin verb facere to make. “To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet,” as TS Eliot phrased it. In a distressing autobiography by Ronnie Archer-Morgan (of BBC’s Antiques Roadshow) he wrote “I came to realise that a smile deflected people from my inner anguish. It became a form of armour, a shield against monstrous memory, a way to counter my conviction that people wouldn’t like looking at me.”  

These are extreme examples of hiding anguish even from ourselves. We think our wound has healed over when in fact – as can happen with deep physical wounds – it only appears to scab and heal on the surface, while continuing to turn septic underneath.

Sometimes we can recognise Agrimony by the persona they project.  They are often chatty, cheerful, sociable people, quick to suggest a drink or an outing.  Persona comes from the Greek meaning the mask that actors wore, and took off after a performance.  Agrimony wears a mask – and it becomes such an engrained habit that they are no longer in touch with their inner selves. That was clear in the instance above, the woman was so used to ‘acting’ – pretending to herself that she had no pain – and joking about her predicament that she automatically did it with her therapist.

The Agrimony chattiness – unlike Heather types where it is all about their own concerns – is designed to deflect attention or interest away from themselves, their problems, their feelings. They can’t bear to recognise or examine their own pain so of course they don’t want others to touch the sore place either. I have a client who, if I ask a pertinent question, will always digress to another topic entirely, deflecting my spotlight away from himself.

Taking Agrimony reconnects us with our innermost being, helping the torment to surface gently and naturally in our consciousness so that it can heal in the pure light of day. With inner peace restored we find we can face problems with courage and optimism.