Heather and the need to satisfy an emotional hunger

Heather is the essence for the emotional state where our loss of connection with others is so great that we are consumed by the urge to restore it – and then we gorge ourselves on attention like a starving person.  I was reminded of this when I first heard Rumi’s poem last week*:

“The Worm's Waking”

This is How a Human Being can change:

There’s a worm addicted to eating
grape leaves.

Suddenly, he wakes up,
call it grace, whatever, something
wakes him, and he’s no longer
a worm.

He’s the entire vineyard,
and the orchard too,
the fruit, the trunks,
a growing wisdom and joy
that doesn’t need
to devour.

–––

I was struck by the idea that our egos are so greedy that we end up trying to devour the very life which sustains us, and as we know in Heather’s case, that very hunger tires out their audience and drives them away.

This need to ‘devour’, to satisfy our wants and fill our emptiness, can also be seen in a number of other flower remedies.  Chicory for instance, with her grasping for others’ affection and attention.  Vervain with their pressurising of others to join in plans and ambitions. Agrimony in their desire for company, cheer and socialising.  Red Chestnut in their near-addiction to keeping loved ones safe; and so on.

When we are emotionally out of balance, feeling lonely, rejected, fearful etc, our needs become ego-centric: it’s all about me rather than them.  This is a very human, survival-driven response but flower remedies help us to recover our equilibrium.  Then we realise, in a burst of insight (like the worm) that we have no need to devour our life-giving world, because in actual fact we are already at one with it.

Photo: Ally Matson

* In Tara Brach’s Youtube, Releasing the habits that imprison your spirit II

Beech helps us learn how to love

Cartoon by Jonny Hawkins, with his permission

When we are criticising others we look at them, reports Tara Brach, through ‘a narrow aperture’: we don’t allow ourselves to see the wider picture with all their good points. Or how they are doing their best despite trying circumstances or other problems. All we see is what irks us.   We may be able to resist saying something mean or critical out loud, but the intolerant thought is still there and makes itself felt across the space between us.

When we feel superior to others like that, the flower remedy is of course Beech.    We look down our noses from our ivory tower of superiority, just as the Queen of Trees gazes down on its neighbours.  And the beech allows no plants to grow too close, it deliberately distances itself from others. 

Those in the mood requiring Beech are sure they are right and that others are wrong or inferior in some way.  When the need for Beech is particularly strong the afflictive emotion is as close to hate as that of Holly. It’s ‘hate’ because we are ‘othering’ the criticised person, rendering them as someone *other*, someone who is ‘Not one of us.’  Whereas love is selfless, connects and includes everyone, hate is selfish, disconnects and excludes. This is unhealthy and unsustainable because we all need each other in order to survive and thrive.  Social media has a lot to answer for …

Taking Beech helps us to see others in all the glory of their humanity, regardless of their flaws and failings that we have too.  And like us they need understanding, tolerance and compassion to help them get through each difficult day.

 

Larch for a boost of self-confidence

The emotional state where we need Larch is not about the anxiety of fear. If we are scared of what people might say, of how it might go wrong, that would call for Mimulus rather than Larch.

Larch is closer to imposter syndrome, such that when your boss asks you to lead on a team project, your reaction is that you’re not good enough. Others will do it better or wonder why you were picked.  When we need Larch we decide the risks involved are not worth the attempt.

John O’Donohue tells us, “Risk might be our greatest ally. […] There can be no growth if we do not remain open and vulnerable to what is new and different.  I have never seen anyone take a risk for growth that was not rewarded a thousand times over.“ 

‘Daring’ is a good word to think of in terms of Larch.  Do we dare to become the Chair of a local community group when invited by local residents?  Or give the vote of thanks? Or dare to apply for an overdue promotion?  Daring is a form of courage, ‘to plunge into life,’ as Dr Bach described it, adding ‘… we shall learn but little unless we face realities and seek to our utmost.’  People needing Larch don’t feel very brave because they lack belief in themselves.  They are easily dis–couraged, which is to say their heart is not in it. (Courage and heart share the same word origin.)

When we need Larch we know we can do the job as we have all the experience and expertise necessary, but our lack of self-confidence prevents us from trying. ‘Someone else would do it better.’ Taking Larch reassures us that we can do it, and even giving it a go will be a step towards growth that we never dreamed possible.

 

Photo: Ally Matson

The 7 Bach Groups and their flower remedies

Which flower remedies belong to which Group? I have created this sheet with Icons to help you remember.

How do you climb a mountain? Step by step.

How do you climb a mountain? Step by step.  Life is a spiral of understanding.  For much of the time we seem to be facing a blank wall of ‘nothing changes’, making no progress, unable to see a way ahead.  Then after another step or two we are facing out into the space of freedom, a vista of raw possibility and expansion. 

As we progress we recognise the stone wall for what it is, a brief interlude, our fears returning to haunt us, our lack of confidence trying to stare us down. And as we climb the stairs, and gaze outwards, every view of the landscape becomes more familiar, more attainable, more ‘a well-trodden path’; than ‘over our heads’.  We gain a different perspective.  We look back on where we’ve been and how far we have come.  We see that each time we complete a 360 degree circuit we are climbing and have gained self-knowledge, new wisdom, tolerance and compassion. 

We don’t look up to see how far we have yet to go as that would make us unbalanced.  But looking back at the distance we’ve come, we rejoice and acknowledge that we have travelled the very path we were born to tread.

Fears, loss of confidence, self-blame: flower remedies such as Mimulus, Larch, Chestnut Bud and Pine can help with these, giving us the impetus to climb yet another step on our journey to self-discovery, an upward trajectory to a world of infinite potential.

 

Photo on Reddit by u/Browndog888

Rumination and circular thoughts

Image by @astraltruth

Circular thoughts weigh us down, robbing us of energy for other areas of our life and health.  When we stop dwelling on an incident or argument, a real load slips from our shoulders and we feel re-energised and ready to get on with our lives.

There has been an advert on UK television recently advising people to consult their doctor if they are worried they might have cancer.  It features someone carrying a musical box and constantly hearing its tune go round and round in their head.  When they eventually go and see the doctor, the box is found to be empty – the repetition of the theme was all in the patient’s mind.

This is an example of where White Chestnut would be helpful.  The same worries or arguments play in a continuous loop in our heads, and, like winding a musical box, we actively keep the loop going. It becomes almost addictive, as we feel unable to free ourselves.  White Chestnut – like the doctor opening the box – breaks the spell and shows us ‘there is nothing there.’ We have been like a bee buzzing at a window, unable to stop and look for a way out.

The obsessive thinking which White Chestnut alleviates is always circular, the same concern repeating itself.  But if our minds are oppressed with thoughts relating to the past or anxiety for the future then other flower essences such as Star of Bethlehem or Mimulus, Honeysuckle or Gorse may be appropriate. Or if you keep catastrophising about your loved ones then take Red Chestnut to prevent you from worrying unhealthily about their whereabouts or safety.

The Fear of Feeling Vulnerable

 Cherry Plum

We’ve all heard of art treasures being concealed during times of war and other emergencies.  People have buried money and disguised jewels in order for them not to be discovered.  Tara Brach referred to this recently[1] when she described how a solid gold Buddha went unrecognised for centuries because it had been shrouded in plaster and clay.  In all these cases, fear of losing something valuable had caused people to hide their precious belongings.

When we struggle to deal with difficult times it’s fear which causes us to bury the treasure of our divine selves under the clay of emotional reactions.  It’s the equivalent of when someone is being physically beaten, they curl into a ball to protect their important organs.  The Cherry Plum fear which urges us to lash out, verbally or physically, is rooted in an extreme sense of vulnerability.  Tessa Jordan BFRP gives the example of a disabled person who strikes out, perhaps while a new carer is trying to undress them, because they are frightened and vulnerable. The gold of our higher self becomes buried under a survival response of anger.

When a car drives onto the pavement, almost running us down, the temptation to key the side as we walk past is another example. It feels as though we might do ‘fearful and dreaded things, not wished and known wrong’[2] which in a less vulnerable state we would never dream of doing.  I speak from experience …

Cherry Plum helps us to transcend fear and the vulnerability which goes with it, and prompts us to remember that essentially we are all souls with hearts of gold. All 38 remedies work to raise our vibrations so that in bringing our best selves to the surface we can shine love and light out into a dark world.

 

Photo: Ally Matson

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[1] Jan 2023 Trusting the Gold, Tara Brach on YouTube

[2] Dr Bach in The Twelve Healers